I don't like feeling the emotion of disappointment. It sucks.
I had to do a self coaching model (ok five self coaching models if you have to know the truth) on my feeling of disappointment over the last few weeks. I have really been diving into this feeling and getting to know what it is all about and here is what I have come up with:
Disappointment feels heavy, devoid of air, limp. My body slumps when I feel it. I experience lethargy and a mild ache in my body when I am feeling it.
Every thought I questioned that was causing disappointment came from a previous expectation I had created about someone or something. For example, I wanted someone to behave in a certain way and they didn't. I wanted something to play out differently and it didn't. This is me when I try to control my circumstances. Instead of managing my thoughts, I get impossible ideas about controlling the circumstances of my future.
I don't do this by thinking thoughts that are empowering and exciting; I do this by setting myself up as a dependent. I create a story in my mind about how I can only feel good if the future plays out the way I want it to in specific detail. I don't trust the universe to bring me exactly what I need and accept it when it comes by thinking in a way that feels good. I push against it and think it shouldn't be happening and then I feel, well, disappointed.
And after spending hours and sometimes days feeling disappointed that it didn't go according to my plan, I see the beauty in the Universal Plan. I see that it went just the way it needed to for my higher good. I see that it is even better than what I could have imagined.
The opposite of disappointment, for me, is gratitude. I am learning (albeit slowly) that I can choose to be thankful for every circumstance I can't control. Gratitude feels light and wonderful! Gratitude kicks disappointment's ass each and every time. Gratitude is a choice.
The thought that I plug into the self coaching model for gratitude is this:
Thought: I know I can access the intelligence within me to show me how this is the perfect circumstance for me right now.
Feeling: Gratitude
Action: Do the self work required and move onto the next thing
Result: Peaceful coexistence with my circumstances and amazing access to ideas
Try this next time you feel disappointed and you won't be.
